It never fails that I have a few very organized and upbeat and positive days and then I just have an off one for no real reason except that life, my friends, is a marathon and not a sprint.
Every morning, I come into the office and fire up my computer and start making my To-Do list in my favorite daily planner. It has a page for every day and is big enough for my lists and any notes from meetings I attend. Mornings are my most productive time and I strive to get the thorny, difficult items crossed off in the AM and save mindless, administrative or easy tasks for the afternoon.
Some days, though, I get nothing crossed off yet still feel enormously busy and I retire to the workout room at lunch feeling like the guy who spent his life rolling a rock uphill only to have it roll back down every night. And I weigh myself and see that I’ve actually GAINED weight and hey, Fuck You Bob Harper. And I haven’t had time for a hair appointment and my greys are clearly visible and I catch sight of someone I like’s ex-significant other and she is much cuter and happier than I feel and isn’t that just like being in high school all over again? Maybe I am not so spiritually developed after all if I can be made depressed by such shallow things about myself. And my former boss, whom I always admired for being so elegantly low-key and classy and understated pulls into the parking lot driving a gaudy luxury car and I feel so judgmental and disappointed that he might actually just be a Shirt after all. But if I judge him for his car, am I any different than someone who BUYS a gaudy car hoping to be judged by it? I don’t really think I should keep mining the depths of my emotional shortcomings.
The only way I know how to cope with such days is by thinking that the air smelled very mild and springlike this morning, and soon there will be muddy runs. I have a book waiting for me on the reserve shelf at the library. There are more new X-Files episodes, even if Mulder is more morose than usual and is he wearing a man girdle? It’s Taco Tuesday with Miss L. My friend at work sent me a book recommendation. And I’m not a Detroit Lion and I don’t live in Flint where they are paying for poisoned water. Life is annoying but it’s all about perspective and I got some of that.