twelve

  
In my defense, I did post yesterday, but something went awry with the thumb posting and by the time I figured it out, I was already in bed and my thumbs were tired. We had a snowpocolypse scare last night and the gas station was packed with hysterical SUV drivers not bothering to politely wait their turn. I eschewed the grocery store and went home to eat too much pasta and watch “Making a Murderer” which upset me so I turned it off. I don’t know if I can finish it. 

It was a slow but undeniably beautiful drive this morning, the first real snowy and sloppy commute of the year, with fat flakes dressing all of the trees. I am almost finished with a big project at work and that makes me very cheerful. I didn’t even mind sitting in on what was possibly the least helpful and instructive mentoring session ever. 

I tend to feel annoyed that I have a mentor. I’m in my ’40’s and have been in my company for 13 years. No one has taken much notice of me til now, and I have no plans to be moved much higher. I’m pretty content to sit in my office and read documents. Yet in an organizational guilt spasm, they gave me a mentor and enrolled me in this Developmental Opportunity. I like my mentor but as usual HR has sucked all the fun out of it. We can’t just sit around together and gossip, I have to Set Goals and update them. I also had to sit through the aforementioned Perplexing Session which was entirely designed to help me assess my level of incompetence. Lest you think I jest:

  
I mean, honestly. Someone sat around and thought this up and now gets paid for it and feels pleased with themselves. And I have to pretend to take it seriously instead of spending time working on reading documents and studiously avoiding eating the orange (A Very Healthy Snack) that I brought several days ago and is slowly rotting next to my gargoyle pen holder. 

I know that I sound exceptionally jaded but yesterday, I asked HR for a copy of my job description and my actual title so I could respond to an audit self-assessment. I’m still waiting. HR isn’t sure of my title and despite the fact that I continue to be paid, no one is sure of my job description, either. This sounds an awful lot like Conscious Incompetence to me.

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