star signs and scrolls, the moon and my birthday.

When I was on the brink of adolescence, which happened later in those pre-historic days than it seems to happen now, I spent a lot of pocket money at the Printed Word, our local bookstore. There were wire racks of paperbacks lining the walls, and a long center row of lighted magazine racks. It had its own dry, papery smell. There was an old-fashioned cash register behind a heavy glass-topped counter, and next to that cash register was usually a box of cigarette-sized colored paper horoscope scrolls, tightly encased in plastic sleeves.

For a time, I rushed to get a scroll weekly, and pored over it with great intensity. It was an amazing mystery, a magic significance akin to the secrets of tarot cards or prophetic dreams. For a couple of dollars, you could understand all kinds of hidden things about yourself and your destiny and the world and stars around you. Your lucky days, your lucky numbers. Who might have a crush on you. I mean, that’s a lot of awesome insight for a bargain price.

I haven’t thought much about horoscopes or star signs until a couple of months ago. I had a crazy weekend of strange tumultuous emotions and changes in my friendships and relationships and I happened to see a reference on Instagram to the lunar eclipse. I Googled it and it was almost alarming at how it seemed to be describing what I was going through.

I haven’t fallen back into checking my horoscope daily, but I did find a couple of great websites that I’ve curiously referred back to occasionally to review the movements of the skies. I love Mystic Mamma and Susan Miller. And since it’s my birthday month and today is actually my birthday, I’ve been checking in more regularly to see what’s afoot in my sign.

So again, I’m finding all sorts of interesting information. Mercury is in retrograde so that nagging feeling I’ve had of being a ship in the Horse Latitudes makes sense. I’m looking back a lot lately, getting ready to close out matters and process them and make the most of understanding them so I can, I hope, move on and take those lessons forward. I’ve had feelings about them that I thought I were over. I’ve had fears and anxieties lingering, old things that I thought I had resolved, but which apparently still need to be thought about and dealt with. The full moon is in Sagittarius so in conjunction with taking this period of retrograde emotional hibernation, I am going to ponder the new path forward and focus on how I can best make that happen. It’s apparently rare to have a full moon on your birthday (plus or minus a day) so I am considering that as a great sign for my day and taking the time to meditate on all of these things so I can move on to the next phase in early July.

At the ripe age of 41, I’ve realized that not everything goes how I’ve planned it, but the important, vital things in life revolve around the joy you take in yourself and your surroundings, and your own ability to see the silver linings. It’s about the beauty you see and the love and friendship you exchange with the people who share your journey, be they your close family or your friends and colleagues or the people you simply pass through space with. It’s about taking responsibility for your actions and your decisions and your own emotional well-being and knowing that everything has a significance and a resonance. Make it count. Happy Birthday to me.